Death Starbucks

Jeff from Starbucks, Fully Operational

Starbucks has landed on every street corner and plagued many a wallet, but now the largest coffee company in the world wants you to know that it’s capable of much more. Witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station! That’s right, Starbucks can BLOW UP PLANETS.

But maybe that’s just the prototype for their newest espresso machine model?

Jeff from Starbucks, Stormtrooper Pin-up

…Or not. There’s definitely some Galactic Imperialism (not to mention fetishism) going on up in here.

My mom and I gleefully discovered these acrylic on canvas paintings in the Starbucks on 18th and Pearl this morning. The pop art was strange at first glance, but the more I thought about it the more it seemed to fit in.

I mean, what corporate culture wouldn’t want to emulate Darth Vader’s tactics? Spread your tenebrous product around the galaxy (whether that be the dark side of the force or a black cup of joe), chase down the rebels (be they alliance members or independent coffeehousers), and crush all in your path (throats, or 269 million pounds of beans a year).

Hurrah for some honesty in the corporate world, even if it was brought on by a barista named Jeff who probably just really likes Star Wars. What if every Starbucks customer were greeted with the image of a deadly space station hanging over the counter? This might seriously change drinking habits.

I would analyze the art more, but looking at the paintings as isolated cultural projects renders the ideas behind them as bold and simple as their line and colors. Place them in the context of a Starbucks, on the other hand, and you’ll get the world talking.

A wary toast to the Empire! Extra hot, no whip.


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