The espresso monster

Caroline and the Central Lutheran espresso machine


Based on whatever knowledge you have of espresso machines, does that onomatopoeia sound healthy?

I’d never done the barista thing until this Sunday, when my friend Caroline and I worked a church espresso cart. However, I have spent lots and lots of time in coffee shops (1) eyeing baristas with bitter envy, and (2) watching espresso machines with utter fascination.


I mean, just look at that polished metal box. It’s as gorgeous and compact as a Swiss-made wristwatch. It huffs and it puffs and it innocently dispenses a dark, aromatic drink that holds the world captive each morning until they get a sip. What a design!

Oh, except when it gets finicky.


“WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE SIR?” I yelled, leaning in close.

We made quite a few lattes before a staffer appeared and put an end to the madness.

“You’re going to BLOW US UP!!” she said, pulling the plug.

For all my attempts at European suave, all I succeeded in was almost burning down a church. It turns out the espresso machine is a little more evil than it initially appears.

But there’s always next week!

(The monster agrees with a resounding GRACKLE)

1 comment
  1. master the art of a good espresso is divine… keep at it, it will come.

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